It's pretty certain that a zombie John Boehner wouldn't have much of a tan, but it's not clear if a zombie John Boehner would cry very much. Tears of blood wouldn't quite count, would they? Maybe they would, in which case zombie John Boehner almost certainly cries a great deal, just as regular John Boehner cries every time aids in the destruction of health, safety, and security for millions of Americans.

Of course, those are just crocodile tears that carry no emotional content, but neither do the tears of a zombie. The same is true of all the promises, protestations of morals, and other platitudes that come out of the biting, grasping mouths of such politicians.

Video of Zombie John Boehner created with ZombieBooth

Today's Major Events

Germany's Catholic Churches Give Nazis Racial Background on All Catholic Germans
Colorado Governor John Love Signs First Liberalized Abortion Law
After Hitler's Victory in Czechoslovakia, Pope Pius XII Sends Positive Message to Hitler
Athens Surrenders to Sparta at End of Peloponnesian War
Supreme Court Rules Students Can be Forced to Salute American Flag