It's pretty certain that a zombie John Boehner wouldn't have much of a tan, but it's not clear if a zombie John Boehner would cry very much. Tears of blood wouldn't quite count, would they? Maybe they would, in which case zombie John Boehner almost certainly cries a great deal, just as regular John Boehner cries every time aids in the destruction of health, safety, and security for millions of Americans.

Of course, those are just crocodile tears that carry no emotional content, but neither do the tears of a zombie. The same is true of all the promises, protestations of morals, and other platitudes that come out of the biting, grasping mouths of such politicians.

Video of Zombie John Boehner created with ZombieBooth

Today's Major Events

5,000 Year Old Khufu or Solar Ship Discovered Near Giza
IBM Wins Contract for Prussian Census, Will Help Make Holocaust Posible
William of Ockham Forced to Flee Avignon by Pope John XXII
Bishop Michael Rackl Links Being a Good Catholic With Being a Patriotic German
Evacuation of British, French, and Belgian Forces Begins at Dunkirk